April always makes me feels so uncertain. Mixed feelings. A lot of good stuff happened in April. Sad memories, too. I was born at the end of April. It is a new beginning of another chapter in my journal of life. I met and lost someone that means a lot to me in April. Parting is sweet sorrow, what an expression! When there’s someone else who’ll be hurt, it’s easy to be selfish, to think only of yourself. It’s almost easier to do nothing and just let things slide. Add on another layer of numbness. And another layer of lackness. Till we don't know what to feel anymore.
So far, the only thing for certain in my existence is disappointment and frustration. Mine alone. I didn’t blame anyone or anything. Maybe, I am just so tired of living. My will to live cease away without me realising it. The reasons to go on seems nil and worthless. The tunnel is still dark and frightening. But life is a constant struggle. And the biggest enemy is our own self. So, stand up and keep fighting. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. Come on!
Every time April is approaching, I do fell excited as well as anxious to know what it brings me. And this year, do any of my dream will be materialised?
