Penantian adalah sesuatu yang amat memenatkan. Lebih-lebih lagi jika kita tidak tahu apa sebenarnya yang dinanti.

Menyirat Hipotesis

Aku mencari sebuah hipotesis
tentang keaiban sebutir bintang
yang berkelip di dada langit
tiba-tiba bintang itu jatuh berserakan
di kaki waktu

Aku masih mencari sebuah hipotesis
melangkahi malam melompati siang
tiba-tiba mentari gerhana
di persada sebuah cakerawala
sehingga tergapainya sebuah wajah
di sebalik sebuah neraca

Dan hipotesis itu kian menjauh
di antara kekudusan wajah
dan ketelusan sebuah bicara
mengemudikan bahtera fikir
apakah pengemudi berhaluan ke pengkalan
atau bahtera memudiki haluan?

Hipotesis itu kian menguntum dan berputik
dalam rimba jagat raya keangkuhan dan ketamakan
melayari pulau-pulau pengkhianatan
antara kembara matahari dan bulan
perbezaan kian merobek kesetiaan
di bawah lembayung hierarki perjuangan

Hierarki hpotesis itu merangkak ke destinasi
perjuangan yang dibanjiri kedukaan
di sebuah lembah nasib
peruangan itu jua sebuah kegersangan
pada ladang harap
yang kontang pohon-pohon keikhlasan.



Galeri ArusIdea
Kuala Lumpur

Down Memory Lane 1

It had been such a long time I have a very peaceful day or night. Lately, weather were so unpredictable; cloudy, rainy and so humid. Heat seemed uncurling in invisible waves from below as above. Sometimes, rain came so hard, rattling my windowsill at crazy pace.

After couple of weeks of restless and sleepless nights, I finally be able to curb my emotion into manageable patterns, I gazed out from my bedroom window. A little warm breeze caress my face. Sky are so clear tonight. Void of clouds. There, I spotted a Libra or maybe just a triangle.

Then, it reminds me the best vacation I ever had in my entire life. Local one. In my final year at university, just after finishing all sort of exams and thesis, we, A, D, R and me, headed out to Pangkor Island for a little break. No planning, just impromptu trip. Backpacker style. Well, you know, as a student, we basically broke. So, four of us just rent a cheap chalet.

One night, we lepak at the beach. Luckily, it not a school holiday, so we able to get the beach to ourselves, just like private beach. No interruption of others. The little gerai close off for the night. And our chalet is a bit isolated from others. Nearly midnight, we were in the dark, no source of light at all, except a tiny torch light R had in his pocket. Without saying out loud, all of us don’t want fire or light at all, contented in the inky darkness. We star gazing.

Night are so clear. Not even a cloud appears above us. We saw millions star like silver dust on black velvet cape. So amazing. I still can recall how lovely it is. Once a while, we tracked any zodiac using the torch, like a laser marker our lecturer used in the white boards. We talked all night. Hopes, dreams, career wise and personal. A little jokes. Some incident of our friendship. Our lifes. Sound of waves, salty breezes, cool air put us into melancholic moods and peaceful air.

At about 1 am, the sky showered by shooting stars! God, what a night! I lost count how many of it. And as a silly girl at that time, every time I saw them, I closed my eyes and wished. There’s few wishes of the night came true.

R and A finally get married and now live happily ever after with their baby girl. I think now, she already three years old, I guess. D also met her other half and had their little family too. Me? I guess, that particular wishes of mine didn’t come true after all.

Nowadays, most of my closest friends already moved out the city and having their own family. There’s some whom still single like me, but having a terrific career and too busy too be lonely. That’s life.

Well, tonight I felt a little bit blue. Remembering down memory lanes while gazing at the night sky makes me wishes to turn back time. How I wish times like that can occur again.

And again