I think, I'm going crazy...!

Yup, I think, I’m going crazy…

Actually, I don’t plan any outing today. Need to finish editing this ‘difficult’ manuscript. Lots to catch up after two day entertaining my sister and her bunch of her friends from south. Well, it not everyday, she comes down to KL, so I take a break to be with them. So, for two day, I’d be a tourist guide, be a ‘pak pacak’ while waiting some of them ‘discussing’ colors, cut, price or which blouses, hand bags or even pajamas they want to buy! Gosh! I hate shopping! But, what to do…

So, after tiring weekends, I planned to work my a** out, finishing this current project before take a break on my birthday and starting another! On that particular day, this coming Wednesday, I do have an ‘Art’s Talk’ to attend to. So, I might as well I stretch the day to its fullest. The function, then my optometric, a movie and a little pleasurable stroll at my favorite hang out.

But, when I got an emergency call from my brother to aid his financial woes, I know that I have to go out! Because I already started working since 4 am this morning, I decided to take a break around 11. Get ready, hit the LRT to the nearest Cash Deposit Machine that I know and just before 12, I already finish my business. Then, in order to avoid ‘LRT’s sardine syndrome’ during lunch hour break, I slipped by my fav little café for a cuppa. Then I saw IT!

BOOK SALE!

So, I went in. At first, just browsing, but…well. You know me…I get hooked!
Thinking that I’d been ‘denied’ myself for quite sometimes, plus my recently ‘pokai’ state that made me missed out spending on recent book fair, plus thinking about this D day and some other ‘excuse’ whirling in my mind.

Without realizing it, I got two paper bags full of books already!

I need to cool down myself a little bit. Instead of regular latte, I opted for Esprit Lemon Lime and chit chatting with café’s owner. More talk about books! While thinking about getting some food inside me (nothing but a cup of cocoa since 5pm), I’m grew more excited when looking at more books had be taken out for sale. Gosh! I’d keep telling myself, enough! With that purchase and the aid, I already spend more than thousand bucks in less than half an hour.

God, help me!

But, the heart chooses to disobey me. With permission from him, I left the paper bags and take a detour to nearest ATM machine. And back again. More books. Until I can’t see the bottom of my basket. Keep repeating the same mantra over and over again inside my head…”Enough, okay! Enough, okay!” Finally, I literally had to force myself to call it a day after watching four paper bags full of book at my table. Can I carry all of them back home?

That’s it! I have to get the h*** out there fast! My café’s buddy laughs out loud witnessing my little antics. But, sale or not, it still eat a ‘chunk’ of my budget. I should watch my spending, bah!

Gosh! Am I going crazy?

Hari Lahir...

Bulan ini tak larat nak menjawap soalan, “Nak apa untuk hari lahir?” Penat dan menyampah. Kalau nak bagi, bagi jelah, tak payah banyak Tanya. Nampak sangat tak ikhlas nak bagi, kan! Kalau ikutkan hati, banyak! Tapi macam melampaulah kalau mintak, tak mampu orang nak bagi! Kalau ikutkan mood, memang tak fikir nak sambut, dah tua pun! Tiada apa yang istimewa lagi dah!

Tapi , penat nak menjawap lagi dah. Jadi, ini diperturunkan senarai yang praktikal, tak mahal sangat dan dialu-alukan, kalau teringin nak bagi hadiah, lah!

1. Stoking - stok dah kurang, maklumlah dah jadi uniform tidur dan asyik kena ‘kidnap’ dek kawan dan anak-anak, hampeh!
2. Coklat – Hmm…I’m chocoholic, so paham-paham saja! Kalau sehari tak makan, tak sah! Cadbury, Crispy, Feraro Rochels…dan Godiva (bagi yang mampu nak bagilah!)
3. Buku – ini sangat dialu-alukan! Any kind of book, esp. historical fiction. Sekarang tengah kumpul duit nak beli buku had copy pasal medieval Islamic sword and weapon in early centuries, jatuh cinta masa tengok kat Times hari tu. Mahal beb!
4. Lilin – one of my collection!

Itu yang terfikir buat masa ini. Alah, bukannya mengharap pun, cuma bagitahu saja. Kalau nak bagi tu, biarlah ikhlas! Ingatan, ucapan dan doa dari mereka yang mengingati, itu lebih utama. Tapi, kalau nak bagi, apa salahnya!

April Kembali Lagi

April senantiasa memberikan kenangan. Variasi momen. Dan hari ini genap setahun detik itu berlalu. Walaupun tidak menjanjikan atau membuktikan apa-apa, ia tetap kekal di situ.

Ibarat angin, ada tapi tidak kelihatan. Maujudnya tiada pertikaian. Seperti itu. Meraikannya bertemankan The Lake House terisi damai dan bahagia. Pasrah dengan ketentuan-Nya. Alangkah!

Bagi yang mengerti, selamat ulang tahun!

I’d Learned.

People say friendship can last forever. It’s natural when two or more people who share a common interest can leads to mutual respect. It can be the foundation to an everlasting relationship. They can rely on each other, when in need, and lead life together. In good times. As long as the friendship has a purpose, they are they. But when nothing else more to gain, they vanished. Now I know, ‘forever’ is just a word. Not everybody really meant what they’ve said anymore.

I’d learned.

Anugerah

Rasa adalah satu anugerah. Perasaan juga anugerah. Dan daripada rasa dan perasaan ini tercipta kenangan. Nostalgia bahagia. Kisah cinta. Sejarah luka. Ingatan berbisa. Ilmu berguna. Pengajaran berharga. Nikmat segala. Semuanya terasa merangkul. Aku bersyukur.

Namun, diri belum terisi. Izinkan aku bermohon. Kurniakan aku satu lagi anugerah. Berikanlah aku nikmat lupa.

Ya, ia juga anugerah. Paling istimewa.

Death

Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."

And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.



Kredit: Khalil Gibran

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