Rememberance

So tired of these straight lines. Restless. Hopeless. Everywhere I turned, it seems lead me back to where I started. ‘Thieves’ and vultures at the back. The hurricane of life keeps twisting. Sometimes the glorious sadness brought me to my knees. Sometimes those sweet memories keep coming back to haunt and drag me down. I’ll not easily give up.

Those precious moments in life are the gems of lifetime. Sometimes, it’s all we got. To go on and endure the hardness of life. All the life, we wait for the chance or for someone to share a life with. But somehow, when it right in front of us, we failed to see it. Sometimes, it’s just not mean to be. It is all right.

At the end of the day, it just me and loneliness. Once it found me, it has been around since then. It knows all my thoughts in the silence of the nights. I used to love the loneliness. It gave me some space and time to be myself, to be with myself, to let my mind wonders this universe, able to create things on my own, to licks my own wound and brokenhearted, to converse with my inner soul. To be at peace.

No matter how nice or good person I am. No matter how badly I long for it, no matter how hard I prayed for it, I’ll never get it. There’s always reasons I feel not good enough Because I knew, happiness is not going to be mine.

Period.