Love and Me

Love is merely a bandage; and oasis in hell; a raft in a tempestuous sea. It keeps us from facing the truth – that no matter whom we are or what we are – we are alone. Ultimately, we are all alone.

Yes, we are all alone. I agree. But we can’t live without love. No matter when love is pathetically blind. And it is not the only ultimate thing in life. Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women and even the most foolish women are wise about men. It’s not foolish to love. It’s just pointless giving all your love to the wrong person.

I made mistake in love too. First, fallen to someone whom I thought have certain qualities I seek. At that time, I’m far superior to him in every aspects of life. I nearly had a life with him, regardless what people say. In times, I hope that he’d become a better person I thought he will be but it turned out that he wasn’t man enough for me. God saved me from making the mistake of a lifetime. But still, it leaved a scar within me. Unfortunately, from that moment, my peaceful and contented world took a turn to downhill.

Then, when I nearly give it up, I found someone who has so much similarity with me. Our thoughts, our view of life, or losses, or desire are nearly the same. We also in the same league in life. Feels like a dream. But again, God seems like against me. When we thought that we are ready to put everything behind us and start fresh, the ghost of his past coming back to haunt him. And he wasn't really ready to let it go. Appearantly. There is nothing I can do.

It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. There is a basic human weakness inherited in all people which tempts them to want what they can’t have and not want what is readily available to them. And to have what they want, not what they really need to be better in life. To be honest, I’ve been there myself. I've seen it all, within family and friends. So, I do understand. There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he is absolutely free to choose.

I had made my choice. But there are few words of wisdom from me. What I’ve learned from my own experience. Obligation is not love. Responsibility is not love. Don't always be a provider but instead be a motivator. Letting someone be open and honest and free to make mistakes and learn from it – that’s love. It’s got to be natural and it got to come real. Let it become the guides instead of merely the follower. To be better and wiser as time goes by.

I’m not going to live according to someone else’s rules and expectation. Or being keep measured to someone else. I just want to be myself and will not live an unlived life. I want to live content with small means – to study, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly, to listen to the birds and wind, to smell the rain, to look at the sun, the sky, the moon, the stars; to seek elegance rather than luxury; refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich. In a word, to live my life to its fullest as long as God granted me this precious time.

And I believe that the only love we give away is the only love we keep. You will find only one true love in your life and if you are lucky, you’ll get to spend the rest of your life with him/her. I’m not that lucky but I’m glad of this life. To love is to admire with the heart and to admire is to love with the mind. Regardless it disappointments, it gives me the chance to love, to cherish and to appreciate all its beauty. It’s all that matter!

The best relationship is the one the love of one for another matters more than the need to be with each other. All good things are difficult to achieve and bad things are very easy to get. I understood.

Period.